Wednesday, August 20, 2008
well, its been 3 days since i blogged, so yeah..
you know, sometimes when one actually do well in sth, okok, its me, ok, yeah.. i just feel that, cos i did pretty well for this block test, i actually fear the next one, which is EOYS.. because its like you feel that you can't accept the fact that you deprove. Just like today's french test, well, though i've not gotten back the paper, but it just feels really bad to know that you would do really badly. I had simply no idea what the listening comprehension was talking about, i could not figure out 1/2 the meaning of the passage for compre, the cloze passages were simply sigh..
its just the ability of being able to do pretty well this term, makes me can't accept failure...
cos is just very scary to see your marks plunge. For the prev block, my chinese paper was sort of a lucky sort of thing, and this time's was easy, i really fear for EOYs. history, i failed the previous time and scored full marks this time, ironic... but i really don know how i score full marks?? when mrs kuan gave us the essay question for practice, i realise, i really cannot do it, how do i link? how do i elaborate? how do i score? i don know.. this block test came as a really big surprise and though i am really proud of it, i am scared.. as in seriously, the inability to accept failure more than ever is overpowering.. its just.. pure scary.. i just feel every single time that i play or even just read, is a waste of time. now, blogging here, i would feel that it's a waste of time right after i finish.. i think, the only time i can truly relax is after EOYs...
i think i should stop blogging for a while, i'm starting to write a chinese journal, just as lao shi said, to improve my expression of chinese words, so yeah.. an alternative... maybe i am just trying to escape from the fact that i am slacking this couple of days, maybe i am just trying to not think that i am actually not smart at all, just pure luck! maybe i am making excuses for wasting my time... why is a day only 24 hrs? its probably just my time management that makes time seem so fast, so wasted...
//y8:00 PMy//
